PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES(Falter) +142 over Houston Astros(Urquidy)-----Probably the worst fuckup today was Sacramento,  but KC and Cubs really disappointed also.   Phillies are on a 4-0 streak,  going back to a 10-3 streak.   They weren't always that hot.  Urquidy has thrown a .326 average and shouldn't be nearly this favored.   Phillies BA is actually 32pts higher than Houston's.  While Falter is 0-4,  he hasn't done that bad,  walking only 1 every 7 innings.   So we're gonna make all that money robbed from us by Sacramento BACK,  with this, and more.(Lose 4-3............Trea Turner and Phillies are an offensive joke.  They get 5 Hits in this game and don't compete.  Falter walks 3 in 4 innings.  WHY YOU PLAY SO FUCKING BAD FOR ME???  Urquidy vastly outperforms his normal self.   No more lost money on Phillies.  They suck and I have no clue how they were in WS last year.)

KANSAS CITY ROYALS(Singer) +180 over Minnesota Twins(Gray)------KC is 7-21 but they come in on a 2-3 streak.   KC does have the Revenge against Gray,  who beat them in one of the season's first games.  Gray has been good but he's not pitching this whole game.   Royals have Edward Olivares,  who I'm sure will be one of baseball's best players this year,  now that's he got a starting spot on the team.(Lose 8-4.........Singer gets rocked.  Royals out hit 'em 10 to 7 but Singer sucks)

CHICAGO CUBS(Steele) -1.5(+100) over Miami Marlins(Hoenig)(Lose 4-3...........Yan Gomes fails to catch a 3rd strike to Cooper.   But Cubs came up weak in this game.   You wanna be a top team you have to win games like this)

MIAMI HEAT +3.5 over New York Knicks parlayed with SACRAMENTO KINGS over Golden State Warriors +264-----Sacramento was the 6th best team to bet on in the regular season.  They do have Kessler Edwards tho he doesn't play much.   Miami Heat...........wo,  that line is coming down;  it was 5.5.(Lose 120-100...........Kings let down their home fans with 64-42 loss in the 2nd half of this game.  What a waste)

San Francisco Giants(Manaea) vs San Diego Padres(Musgrove) UNDER 15.5--------Dude............ok,  this game is in Mexico.  The stadium dimensions are 400 to center and 332 to the foul poles.  Is that different from American stadiums?   Ok,  its artificial turf.   So.........8.5 extra on the o/u line????  Doesn't make sense to me.   Padres are hitting .215 and in fact both these teams are low scoring compared to everyone else.  They're only playing 9 innings, right?(Lose 16-11...........This is not even beisbol Americano.  11 Home Runs were hit in this game.  Both starters really sucked.   Apparently,  this stadium's elevation is above Coors Field.  I don't understand why high elevation == Steroid hitting.   Should have taken the under 20.5 the next day.   Stop fucking with me,  man)

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS(Henry) -115 over Colorado Rockies(Davis)----AZ has scored 31 more runs than Col.  Rockies are 8-19.(Win 11-4...........Perdomo 3-5 HR..........Rivera 3-5........Christian Walker 3-5 HR)

DETROIT TIGERS(Rodriguez) +113 over Baltimore Orioles(Rodriguez)-------Tigers are 9-15 but have the home Revenge here vs Rodriguez.   Eduardo has of course had 3 straight good starts; Tigers' hitting must improve.(PPD........Eduardo did the job the next day)

DALLAS STARS -105 over Minnesota Wild-----Dallas has a big +ATS,  the #14 and the 20.......and they have Jason Robertson.(Win 4-1............Mason Marchment G,  Max Domi G)

BOSTON RED SOX(Pivetta) +110 over Cleveland Guardians(Bieber)-----Cleve has gone 1-4 in Bieber's starts,  though Bieber is 55-27 lifetime.  Red Sox have scored 51 more runs than Cleveland has this year.  That's pretty significant,  so I'll take 'em.(Lose 5-2.............Boston can't score at home.  Why do the Boston Bruins lose at home,  blowing their good season?   Why do the Boston Celtics lose at home -10.5.  Something we don't know.............about Boston.   But Boston wasn't supposed to lose this one........

https://cbsaustin.com/news/local/5-killed-in-shooting-in-cleveland-southeast-texas-mass-shooting-gun-violence-homicide-active-shooter-walters-road-ar-15-victims-arrest-warrant-suspect-fatal(CLEVELAND, Texas — The San Jacinto County Sheriff’s Office is currently investigating a mass shooting incident that left five people, including a child, dead at a southeast Texas residence Friday night.

KTRK reports it happened around 11:30 p.m. in the 100 block of Walters Road in the Trails End area of Cleveland.)

           As CLEVELAND............in Texas is struck by a diabolical mass murder)

TEXAS RANGERS(Heaney) +150 over New York Yankees(Cole)----Rangers have scored 46 more runs than Yankees and while Cole may be the better pitcher,  Heaney has gotten great run support.  And Rangers are at home.(Lose 4-2...............Motherfucker.   Well,  Heaney's from Oklahoma...........gotta bear down and get these wins for me..........

https://www.fox23.com/news/7-bodies-found-near-henryetta/article_4e035214-e861-11ed-aa4f-a77d36148eb9.html(OKMULGEE COUNTY, Okla. — The Okmulgee County sheriff's office says seven bodies have been found on a property near Henryetta. 

Sheriff Eddy Rice confirmed the news shortly after 4 p.m. Monday.

Oklahoma Highway Patrol sent out an emergency alert Monday morning in the search for 14-year-old Ivy Webster and 16-year-old Brittany Brewer. )

       ...........as there's really a limited number of people to kill in Oklahoma.  Look at those names, man:  Heaney and Henryetta...........all the letters of Heaney go into Henryetta.)

COLORADO ROCKIES(Marquez) +155 over Cleveland Guardians(Bibee)-----Rockies are 8-17 but Guardians are also below .500.  Marquez is 2-1 on this team,  with only 2 walks in 16 inn.  So he is doing good.  And Bibee,  who is an unknown,  can just come in and be this favored?  (Lose 4-1)

CINCINNATI REDS(Ashcraft) -110 over Texas Rangers(Gray)------Ashcraft is doing really well,  Reds are 9-15 but at home here.(Win 5-3..........Nick Senzel GWHR)

DETROIT TIGERS(Lorenzen) +170 over Milwaukee Brewers(Peralta)----There's no competition between these offenses,  Tigers are very low.  Yet they've beaten the Brewers the last 2 games.   Lorenzen is 31-29 lifetime,   so I doubt it'll be his fault if the Tigers don't win.  They've just gotta hit.(Lose 6-2..........weak-ass Tigers hitting......)

CHICAGO CUBS(Steele) -116 over San Diego Padres(Snell)----Snell has not done well,  and Steele has.(Win 6-0............Yan Gomes 4-4 HR)

STL CARDINALS(Flaherty) -107 over Seattle Mariners(Flexen)----------Cardinals at 8-13 are underperforming.  Their offense is better than this.   Flaherty has 17 BB in 21 innings;  other than that,  he's good.   Seattle has gone 0-4 in Flexen's starts.(Win 7-3...........Nootbar 3-5 HR.........Paul DeJong 3-4 HR,  Nolan Gorman 2-4 HR)

ATLANTA BRAVES(Fried) -140 over Houston Astros(Javier)--------Braves are 14-7,  having lost their last 3 after winning 8 straight.  Fried is 55-25 lifetime.   Can't see Atlanta getting swept at home.(Lose 5-2........game was good while Fried was in there;  he went 6 3 0 3 5.  AJ Minter took the L.  Braves had the 2-0 lead but they only had 3 Hits.  They cannot hit a basic 92mph 4 seam Fastball.)

DETROIT TIGERS(Wentz) +160 over Baltimore Orioles(Gibson)------Tigers are 7-11 with abominably bad offense,  no .300 hitters.........but,  Wentz was good on April 14th.  It's not just that Joey Lucchesi dominated for the Mets yesterday,  you had Connor Joe going 3-3 on Pirates and Joey Meneses hit an HR for Washington.   So we'll go with Joey Wentz today,  from Lawrence, Kansas.(Lose 5-1......very little support for Wentz with Tigers having only 2 Hits.........and,  he got rocked)

San Diego Padres(Musgrove) vs Arizona Diamondbacks(Kelly) UNDER 9.5(-120)-----Kevin Kelly took the W for Tampa yesterday.  This is Musgrove's first start this year.(Win 5-3)

Tampa Bay Rays(McClanahan) vs Chicago White Sox(Cease) UNDER 7(-105)----Not sure why McClanahan is so good,  but he is.(Push 4-3)

COLORADO ROCKIES(Davis) +270 over Philadelphia Phillies(Nola)------------Phillies only 8-12 this year after getting shutout yesterday by Feltner.   And Nola...........not especially good this year.  Phillies are only 2 wins ahead of Colorado this season.(Lose 4-3............close,  with GWRBI going to Edmundo Sosa)

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS(Gallen) -105 over San Diego Padres(Lugo)------Gallen was rocked by SD on April 4th but AZ won the game.   AZ's offense has been better than Padres so far this year.(Win 9-0........Moreno 3-4,  Marte 3-5)

CHICAGO CUBS(Taillon) -115 over La Dodgers(Grove)----------Cubs at home with the Revenge; Taillon has the Revenge.  Cubs are 11-6.(Cancelled.........Taillon didn't start.   Chris Hayes showed on his show today that he had thrown a 1st pitch at a Cubs game in 2016,  the year the Cubs won it all.  That is an accomplishment------Cubs don't win for 100 hundred years,   they let Hayes throw a pitch and then they win.   However,  it doesn't work this day for Michael Fulmer,  who allowed the 4ER,  a grand slam by Outman,  in the 9th to lose it.   I used something like Johnson.James@spcollege.edu in an email,  which surely would have brought victory to Jameson Taillon.   But Cubs management doesn't accept me(I had been asking them for a job as early as 2012).  So what is it?  JAMES Outman hits 2 HR in this game and he hits 2 HR vs Cubs two days later.  Cubs management:  GET IT TOGETHER WITH ME and you'll win.   Screw up and you bring disgrace on my name.   My long term projection is that Cubs will be pretty good this year,  largely due to Fulmer being on the team.   But this is what happens when you fuck up)

PITTSBURGH PIRATES(Oviedo) over Colorado Rockies(Gomber) parlayed with CHICAGO CUBS(Steele) over Oakland A's(Miller) +196--------Miller is unknown but A's and Rockies are very weak.(Win 14-3 and 12-2............Wow!   An amazing pair of beatdowns......McCutchen 2-5 HR,  Connor Joe 3-5,  Castro 2-6, HR.........Eric Hosmer 2-5 HR)

WASHINGTON NATIONALS(Gray) +126 over Baltimore Orioles(Kremer)-----Wash is 5-11 and they have a scoring problem but their hitting,  I think,  is not so bad.   And Kremer has gotten rocked all 3 of his starts.  Gray is 0-3 but I'll take him here at home.(Lose 1-0..........Gray came to play but even when Edwards came in in the 8th inning,  Nationals couldn't hit to get a win.  Zero walks taken by Wash.)

LA CLIPPERS +8.5 over Phoenix Suns(Lose 123-109)

MIAMI MARLINS(Cabrera) -110 over San Francisco Giants(Wood)------wow,  Giants are 5-10.  Not good.   Umm, they lost for me last time.  Maybe they're not good.  Cabrera is due to like not walk people.  He's walked 14 in 11innings.   (Win 4-2)

MINNESOTA TWINS(Gray) -103 over Boston Red Sox(Sale)-----Gray is dominating while Sale is getting rocked.   Twins may not be scoring well,  but they are 10-6.(Lose 5-4.........Jovani Morant takes this loss)

PITTSBURGH PIRATES(Velasquez) -110 over Colorado Rockies(Urena)----------Urena has done really bad,  Rockies are 5-12.(Win 5-3.........Jack Suwinski 2 HR)

 MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES +8.5 over Denver Nuggets(Lose 109-80........sick performance by Timberwolves)

TEXAS RANGERS(Heaney) +165 over Houston Astros(Valdez)----Texas is 8-6,  though Grossman has slipped to .135,  their offense has not done any worse this season than Houston's.(Win 9-1........Robbie Grossman 1-3, 2R, RBI..........Semien 2-4 HR,  Josh Jung 2-4)

MILWAUKEE BREWERS(Peralta) +112 over San Diego Padres(Lugo)-------Wacha really got backed off yesterday.  Brewers are 10-4.(Lose 10-3............thought Peralta was better than this)

BALTIMORE ORIOLES(Gibson) -115 over Chicago White Sox(Kopech)------Orioles are a pretty good 8-6.(Lose 7-6............Logan Gillaspie loses it)

BOSTON RED SOX(Pivetta) -105 over La Angels(Anderson)-----Red Sox didn't deserve to win yesterday but..........I think Pivetta's been doing good;  he's only 40-51 lifetime.......Red Sox need to get their hitting up.(Win 9-7)

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS(Bumgarner) +140 over Miami Marlins(Rogers)------Rogers has had some difficulty,  AZ is 8-5(Lose 5-1.......Bumgarner gets rocked)

OAKLAND A's(Kaprielian) +190 over New York Mets(Senga)------A's are 3-10 but they almost won yesterday;  they do have Brent Rooker who is emerging.  Kaprielian sucks and has sucked this year.  But...they are at home at this big price.(Lose 17-6.............Mets take 17 Walks.........A's no longer fit for MLB.  Why does Kaprielian suck so bad?   He walked 7.  Hogan walks 5,  Familia walks 4.   An absolute disgrace.  Get these bums off the field)

CINCINNATI REDS(Lodolo) -125 over Philadelphia Phillies(Falter)------Both teams have only 4 wins.  Have I bet Reds yet?   We'll try it.(Win 6-2........Spencer Steer and Will Myers 2-4)

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS(Cobb) +138 over La Dodgers(Kershaw)-----6-6 team vs 5-6 team,  LAD may be a bit better offensively but they haven't really proven it so far.  Giants at home.(Lose 10-5..........3-0 lead into the 4th...........then Cobb sucks it up.  Taylor Rogers!!! fucking suck with 4 BB and 4ER.   The city'll kill you though.........Iranians and all that)

COLORADO ROCKIES(Freeland) +155 over St Louis Cardinals(Mikolas)-------Look, man,  Cardinals are only 3-7 right now and Mikolas has thrown a .413 average.   Freeland has not allowed a run yet this year.   Whatever happens this HAS  to be the top bet of every handicapper.  It's in Colorado.  But, you know,  I don't know if they're gonna let me win but I can't possibly be blamed for Connor Sturgeon.  Of course,  we knew,  after Angel Reese was allowed to win(and excessively gesture),  that there would be another AR massacre.  Everyone knew that.  And you see that I was made to go 0-4 on Sunday to "make way" for the massacre.  Even the Angels had to lose.(Lose 9-6..........6-2 lead for Colorado after the 6th;  Ryan McMahon makes an Error..........Lamet walks in a run..........and Pierce Johnson get rocked.  This was fucked up)

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS(Kelly) +110 over Milwaukee Brewers(Burnes)----Burnes has not done well.  Both teams have won 7 games.(Lose 7-1...........Kelly allows only 1 Hit but Burnes dominates)

LA ANGELS(Detmers) -126 over Toronto Blue Jays(Kikuchi)---------5-3 Angels at home vs 5-4 Blue Jays.(Lose 12-11..........They blew a 6-0 lead.  Mike Trout blows his ABs late in the game.  Hard to understand)

CHICAGO CUBS(Taillon) -110 over Texas Rangers(Gray)---Cubs are 4-3 at home and they messed up the Rangers bullpen yesterday.(Lose 8-2............Taillon sucks)

WASHINTON NATIONALS(Kuhl) +125 over Colorado Rockies(Feltner)----Nats have Robles at .370 and Thomas at .361.........and Michael Chavis.  Both teams are 3-6.  Kuhl almost got there for me last time but Kyle Finnegan.............blew it up.  Feltner has more serious problems,  as he walked 5 for me last time I bet on him.  Cron looked like he might be da man,  but has slipped to .258(Lose 7-6...........Kuhl sucks)

CHICAGO WHITE SOX(Kopech) +122 over Pittsburgh Pirates(Oviedo)-----CWS offense has done better than Pirates and is pretty good.  Kopech got rocked by SF but last year he was hard to hit.  At a lifetime record of 4-11, Oviedo has never been any good.  Yes,  Pirates are 5-3 and CWS are 4-5.  I'll take this price.(Lose 1-0............Pirates get 2 Hits and win this game)

BROOKS KOEPKA to win Masters -105(Lose..........He had the lead when it was raining.  Sunday is sunny as Hell)

KANSAS CITY ROYALS(Singer) +130 over San Francisco Giants(Manaea)------KC is only 2-6 but they won yesterday.  Singer is good, out of Leesburg, FL.   Royals offense hasn't got going yet but they do have #14 Edward Olivares who we are determined to create a good season for.(Win 6-5..........Salvador Perez with the 3R HR to tie it.  And Taylor Clarke gets the Win)

CHICAGO CUBS(Steele) -115 over Texas Rangers(Perez)-----Cubs are 3-3,  at home.(Win 10-3..........Patrick Wisdom 2-4 HR,  Mancini 3-5)

NEW YORK YANKEES(Brito) -140 over Baltimore Orioles(Irvin)(Win 4-1.........Michael King with the Hold,  Stanton 2-4 HR)

ARIZONA DIAMONDBACKS(Bumgarner) +190 over La Dodgers(Kershaw)-------AZ is 3-4 and at home.(Win 6-3..........Corbin Carroll 2-4 HR,  Gabriel Moreno 2-4.........Evan Longoria HR)

MIAMI MARLINS(Luzardo) +108 over Minnesota Twins(Lopez)------Marlins need to hit a little better..and we saw how Jasmine Carson beat me in the WNCAA game.  Who would that be but Jesus Christ?   Here,  we have Jesus Luzardo and another Jesus on the team.  So,  though the Twins are 4-1,  they should lose this game.(Win 5-2...........Jorge Soler 2HR)

CHICAGO CUBS(Stroman) -115 over Cincinnati Reds(Greene)-----Greene can get K's but was only 5-13 last year.   Reds may be hitting a little better,  but Cubs have Wisdom,  who is hitting .375----and of course Hosmer and Bellinger,  who is not yet hitting.(PPD)

OAKLAND A's(Muller) +108 over Cleveland Guardians(Gaddis)------Hunter Gaddis has not worked out,  having given 19 ER in 11 MLB innings.   A's may be offensively weak enough to make Gaddis look good(for once), but I'll take 'em.(Lose 6-4...........Gaddis went 6 1 0 2 4 on me. ???  Eli Morgan got the Win)

WASHINGTON NATIONALS(Kuhl) +150 over Tampa Bay Rays(Fleming)------Fleming has been hittable and in longer MLB experience Chad Kuhl has consistently walked almost 1 every 2 innings.  Nationals are 1-3 but they are at home.(Lose 10-6...........Nationals get 16 Hits to 10 for the Rays........and THIS SHIT STILL FUCKING HAPPENS.   Kyle Finnegan gives up 3 HR and 5 ER in 1/3 of the 9th inning.  Piece of Irish fucking shit.  https://nypost.com/2023/03/30/audrey-hale-counseled-by-pastor-whose-daughter-she-killed/(Bachmann said he reached out to Scruggs after the tragedy and he had texted him back saying “God is good.”)

      Thanks dude.  Would have appreciated more Revenge.  But he's fucking opiated,  they all are.   This forthcoming shooting spree's not gonna be pretty.  I tried to stop it)

ST LOUIS CARDINALS(Matz) -132 over Atlanta Braves(Dodd)---------Cardinals are definitely hitting but are 2-2.   Dodd is unknown.(Lose 4-1.........Every Cardinal got a Hit,  but only 1.  Matz allows 10 Hits in 5 innings)

COLORADO ROCKIES(Feltner) +180 over La Dodgers(Grove)----Both teams are 2-2.(Lose 13-4.........Feltner uses 92 pitches to go only 4.2 innings.   They did have a lead,  but Feltner lost it.  Fuck)

IOWA HAWKEYES -167 over Lsu Tigers-----Line was -1.5 yesterday,  now its -3.5 so...........I don't wanna lay points in this game.   Clark is playing like a rag ghost out there,  scoring most of their points.  But consider the 20 and 14,  numbers appearing on Iowa.  Princeton could not redeem those numbers for me.  But I'll play them again here as(Martin is from Edwardsville) they're going against Angel Reese(Yes,  the AR,  the gun,  which is tearing this country apart).  Certainly,  John Wick Chapter 4 is in theaters now,  the most violent movie,  whether its shooting or knifing or swords.  And anyone can see how that movie coerced the Nashville Covenant massacre.   The Angels did win big yesterday but they didn't win their first game.   So we've gotta beat the gun,  and that's what makes this game so important.(Lose 102-85........Jasmine Carson went 5-6 on 3s,  was the team's leading scorer,  didn't really play in the 2nd half because this game was over at halftime.  JC,  playing with AR(the gun),  beating me at this level will have devastating ballistic consequences for America.   You think mass shootings are a problem?  You ain't seen NOTHING yet.   Angel Reese,  using the you-can't-see-me gesture EXCESSIVELY,  which was GHETTO,  SKANK and HOOD.........they showed Clark using the gesture like once in the previous game.  Maybe she used it more;  I didn't watch the whole tournament.   But,  as Iowa is an all white team,  and South Carolina was probably Black........I mean,  I didn't see WHO she used it to.   But this is Race-War stuff that the AR engaged in here.   And yes,  with this outcome,  THERE WILL BE A RACE WAR.  But more shreddingly is the amount of AR mass shootings that will prevail and hit new highs.   This is a TERRIBLE outcome.   I tried to stop it(Jesus is with the gun!!!).   Scoring 85,  Iowa didn't do that bad,  but the JC came out and put it away in the first half.   BUY A GUN and WEAR your body armor.)

 ST LOUIS CARDINALS(Flaherty) +120 over Toronto Blue Jays(Gausman)(Win 4-1.......Nolan Gorman 2 RBI.........Flaherty pitches a 5inn no hitter with 7 walks)

NEW YORK YANKEES(Schmidt) -140 over San Francisco Giants(Cobb)(Lose7-5.........I should have known:  Clarke Schmidt fucks up,  Yankees can't win for me at home)